Send me an e-mail.
Below is my mailing address. Not the actual location of the Zugtagon, which is an abyssal secret, but my Post Office Box which I empty about once a week. Response will be at my leisure and discretion.
You may want to send me physical objects. You may wonder if I will sign game cards, books and such through the mail, or if I will draw upon various items of your property -- inside said books and cards, on blank sheets of paper thoughtfully provided, on fantasy game paraphernalia, kitchen appliances, dead pets.
I will and do sign and return such items, often gladly, and always for free. But whereas applying my signature is so easy that I do so with pleasure, drawings take creativity and thought, and so then I would have to charge money, which would compel excursions down more irritating chains of thought. And frankly, I'm saving those brain cells for the publishers of books and the creators of fantasy worlds. So to preserve my concentration, I must say "no" across the board to sketches, scribbles, card alterations and other such leakages. That's no, and no again. And to you who just thought of a fresh exception or angle: No.
Be sure to include a legible, self-addressed envelope with sufficient postage if you want your stuff back! This is important. If you've gotten your stuff back even though I've had to add postage, consider that something in your missive must have arbitrarily endeared your cuddly widdle self to me in that moment, and it is not likely to happen again.
If you are outside the U.S.A.: I will only return items that are flexible and fit inside a standard business-letter-sized envelope, and which the Post Office interperets as a letter. This means that if you are sending cards, you are limited to eighteen (18), and they must be slipped into a trading card binder sheet, the sheet folded into three and slipped into a business letter-size envelope along with an identical popstage-paid envelope. In other words: I will not accept any package which I have to fill out a customs form in order to return.
P.O. Box 182
Lewisberry, PA 17339